6.16.2006

The Commodore Ballroom:

disappointed professionals hold up their cellular phones to capture the music.
my friend has fallen for the one with the high cheekbones,
and I, for the blue lights.
Shiny faces and chiming guitars make the night.
......... .
I came to this realization that i don't appreciate stories.
maybe because they give me an unrealistic view of life.
relationships in particular.

I have to drown out the cars with music.
The thing about feeling down is that people want to fix you.
They take on your mess and your ideas.
They want you to be healthy.
be complete.
remove particular patterns.
but I don't know what this looks like.
or how it ought to look.
sometimes i think i'd rather smoke my djarums and die young.

[ just another james dean ]

I've thought about being a recluse.
a writer. a painter.
that or a deaf mute, like Holden suggested.

.... . .. ..................................................................... .
Let me ask my readers this:
what is it that gets you through the day?
keeps you sane?
allows you to feel peace?

10 Comments:

Blogger hoardingsanity said...

the world cup.
tandoori nan and hummus.
the doers.
the cbc.

June 16, 2006 6:14 AM  
Blogger the tapered pant said...

laughter, nick hornby, clive staples, The Leds and sometimes, a little bit of dancing.

June 16, 2006 8:08 AM  
Blogger meadstars said...

music, djarums, not thinking.

June 16, 2006 1:18 PM  
Blogger rintrah said...

Probably not asking myself those questions too often.

June 16, 2006 5:20 PM  
Blogger rintrah said...

I take that back . . .

I went to a jazz fest put on by a local radio station tonite. Elliot Brood was playing (not jazz but they were the reason I went). I hd a flask of scotch and a beer or few and talked with the band for a while moments before their show. And then they shared an anecdote on stage that I shared with them. (Ask me how it feels to be famous in my own head.)

Anyways, I came to the realization of an actual answer while walking home.

The thing that grants me peace is the idea of love. Not the realization of love, just the idea. Once I realize love something will destroy it. Nothing can destroy an idea.

I can't think of anything else that brings me the same kind of peace.

June 17, 2006 12:09 AM  
Blogger Spiro said...

people.

June 17, 2006 2:18 PM  
Blogger Sharelle said...

one good conversation
soy tazo chai
and currently...
the stars "heart".
that song kills me.

can we have a djarum soon, i have a full pack and a beach just sitting and waiting for one ms. janzen.

June 18, 2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger MTT Publishing said...

I never ever look at the tunnel. I look at the light at the end of the tunnel. If I pay too much attention to what is around me, I do feel down. But when I look at where I want to be and where I'm going, that perks me up.

Where do you want to go? What do you want? Those things drive me.

JP

June 18, 2006 6:33 PM  
Blogger Ryan said...

the idea that each day has the possibility of being better than the one before it.

July 02, 2006 4:43 PM  
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