I've been told that it's a bigger crime to hold back.

the conversation is real and i ought not judge:
the naivety of parents regarding their children.

my latest experience makes me think that everyone is a bit insincere. this idea comes from the small amount of self interestedness that is evident in every human psyche.
and perhaps things will never be good enough.

closing my eyes makes me panic as we take off.
the tires sound like a heartbeat as they skim the concrete surface of the airstrip.
We're flying East. towards Winnipeg.
i prayed for a touchdown.
there is a hand on a leg beside me.
eyes looking out from above glasses.
a bump on a forehead and gum in his mouth.
he has a beer while i watch. just one: Heineken.

The next day i see the precision of Deutschland.
the seamless roads. the control of speed.
Germans drink mineral water before bed.

on my way through Denmark I saw the sea on each side and white blades creating energy.
I waited in line while looking through a dirty windshield,
and on the boat to Scandinavia, sea salt on my skin.
All i hear is the white noise of muted Norwegian.
the people here look healthy.
light hair. fair skin. eyes like weather. cheeks the color of rose.

red wine. bad movies.
yellow peppers at twelve dollars/kg.
the most expensive vegetable ever eaten. and it didn't even taste good.
a five hour shift in fluorescent lighting.

led zeppelin and dirty sheets.
cat power and ironed pillow cases.
flawless curtains.




rich Nowegian wood.

if Dark Side of the Moon was already frightening,
listen to it going through a tunnel that goes on for ten kilometres and feels like a death trap.
the speed is too fast, and the mountains too much for my eyes.

finally, a sincere moment between the two of them.
now, beside a fjord somewhere on the coast of Jektaviak and on the way to Førde -
I see a moment between them.
There is a man fishing nearby. but it looks as if he could be dancing.
Jeff Tweedy is on the stereo. and i can hear hands clapping.

Jesus etc.

it's a time where not even a cigarette is necessary.
nothing must change.
if they are disturbed, this moment will be over.
maybe i should allow myself to be content for once.