wishful thinking.

what is there to do when your heart sinks
and your fingers are too cold from the air outside to even pick up the phone?

i take no advice, and listen to Wilco.
music somehow soothes me.
and i use the light of the computer screen to illuminate the smoke that is sinking into my hair and probably killing me.

"Fill up your mind with all it can know
Don't forget that your body can let it all go
Fill up your mind with all it can know
'Cause what would love be without wishful thinking?"

i hope for something better.
it is the only productive thing that can be done.
and perhaps with a clear head this can be viewed as beneficial


Blogger Zeljko Radinski said...

I love this part the most "and i use the light of the computer screen to illuminate the smoke that is sinking into my hair and probably killing me." Great Great ;)

Peace & Love

January 06, 2006 12:11 a.m.  
Blogger Nerdine said...

I like your way with words. Simple but still there's a nerve present. we all hope for something better I think. The world would be a boring place without dreams and hope.

thank you for sharing

January 06, 2006 1:01 a.m.  
Blogger hoardingsanity said...

depending on what i think this is about, i would say that you should not look at it in terms of productivity and gain.

to even consider it as un-beneficial is to defeat it before it even has a chance to begin.

(that is, if this is what i think it is)

however, is not to say you're wrong for thinking it so.

i think instead that it says something entirely about the whole project, that perhaps the entire thing is unreciprocated, and therefore is (and has been) misunderstood by one party, and is therefore, from the get go, not exactly an altruistic and/or authentic experience (for either).

all i really know for sure is that it's not worth the cigarettes.

(unless this about something else entirely of course... then it might be worth the cigarettes.)

January 06, 2006 4:52 a.m.  
Blogger the tapered pant said...

I'm going to have to disagree a little with the guy above me and say that the clove was fully necessary. You are better for dreaming and will wish righteously. I've got nothing. Just come and talk to me.

January 06, 2006 8:38 a.m.  
Blogger melanie said...


that was beautiful.

and worth the clove, of course.


January 08, 2006 3:39 a.m.  
Blogger Sweet Caroline said...

kristina, i love reading everything you write. your writing is always rich with imagery and transports me somewhere else.
it was really good to see you over christmas, even though it was for such a short time. you are such a real, honest person, who actually cares about things of importance. anyways, thought i'd let you know i think you are just great. i always have. you're one of those people who i really appreciate and i'm glad to know, even if we may not be bosom buddies or anything. it's comforting to know that people like you exist.

January 08, 2006 6:57 p.m.  

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