rant time, stream of consciousness style.

photos. i have some, i want to show them because they are of dust. i want people to like them too, but i have to write this paper on mail order brides, a subject i know nothing about and don't want to essentialize, but probably will anyway.

then there is food. i have been trying to eat more healthy. this week i bought chard from the co-op at school. it tasted kinda sweet like they said it would.

i added chick peas, avocado, tomato, red onion, lemon, ginger and tonight, some chicken. as he made his food, different than mine, we watched Freaks and Geeks, the one where Sam loses his towel and streaks through the halls. then Cindy Sanders (that bitch) cheers him on, while Bill and Neil get jealous.

am I ever going to finish school? one of my faithful readers is almost done her fuckin' masters. HER MASTERS! I'm in my third year of my undergrad. what a joke.

at least i declared my major.

i now have a heart shaped glass hanging in my window. it constantly as a rainbow in it. although it's super new-age, it is well intentioned, so it shall stay.

tonight Johannes told me that he can't wait to see me being a mom. I told him i can't wait to see him kiss little Seymour's cheeks, cause they'll likely be a little like mine, except smaller. he'll love that. things have been more than great lately, especially when he took care of me last night, made me eggs and popcorn while i laid on the couch, recovering.

we took a walk in the rain today as well. pesto croissant for me, sticky bun for he.

then we filled our bag with vegetables and milk, and came home to sit in the warm sun.

i almost fell asleep from the warmth.

now it is windy windy and rainy. and beautiful. but vicious.

Johannes is in bed. i want to be there too.

fuck fuck fucking shit. i hate school today.

and yesterday.

and the day before.

and tomorrow.

i just needed the internet world to know since I'm all alone, wrapped tightly in a wolf blanket wanting to eat grilled cheese sandwiches.