i suppose i expected it to be effortless.
expectation vs. hope. like we talked about.
a windy night spent on the pier adorned me with a fierce cold and a parking ticket.
and an inability to drive to Seattle to see Lichtenstein and a good friend.
i haven't smoked in a few days.
my throat has become raw from inhaling too deeply.
but i can't help it.
it's not sufficient to just keep it in my mouth.
appreciation has become a catchphrase around here lately.
it seems so unnatural to think about life as a list of benefits and pitfalls. a chart to climb.
tonight as i passed the street lights,
the mirrors lying beside me on the cushioned seat were shining on the ceiling.
ambiance even in the car.
i worry about intention.
and about decency and poise.
"Sometimes we have to be judged by our one-offs."
- Nick Hornby
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