Fuck You Dov Charney. Fuck You.

“Women initiate most domestic violence, yet out of a thousand cases of domestic violence, maybe one is involving a man. And this has made a victim culture out of women.” - Dov Charney

Here are the facts:

1 in 4: The number of women raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance at some time in their lifetime. (for men: 7.6 out of 100)
1.3 Million: The number of women physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States. (for men: 835,000)
20: The percentage of nonfatal violence against women committed by an intimate partner. (for men: 3)
33: The percentage of female murder victims who were killed by an intimate. (for male murder victims: 4%)
1,247: The number of women killed by an intimate partner in 2000. (for men: 440)
2/3rds: The percentage of women killed by firearms who were killed by an intimate partner.
1,006,970: The number of women stalked annually in the United States.
84: The percent of spouse abuse victims who are female.

I’m not trying to downplay the plight of male victims of domestic violence, or suggest that becase men are victimized less often that their victimization isn’t just as wrong. There is a cultural silence and erasure of male victimization, and that’s a huge problem. But addressing that doesn’t require ignoring — or spitting at — the fact that women experience the vast majority of intimate partner violence, and that we often pay for it with our lives. It doesn’t require implying that women bring domestic violence upon themselves by saying that women “initiate” most of it (What does that even mean? She talked back?).
I wish I could come up with something more adult and biting than “Fuck you, Dov Charney,” but it’s about all I can muster.

-Jill (from Feministe.com)

i still listen to the cure.

smoke cigarettes.

drink wine.

eat meat.

eat foreign vegetables.

eat Second Slice pizza.

stay up late.

never finish books.

obsess about apologizing and loneliness.

somehow I think i should know better by now.

and part of me cares deeply about altering my choices.

part of me can not be bothered.

there is another part of me, a greater part, however, that aches knowing that i'm not a better person.

a better writer.

activist.

thinker.

reader.

cook.

friend.

organizer.

lover.

photographer.

so i sit. here. in victoria. thinking about what city is next.

some people know what i have in mind.

most do not.

i plan to keep it that way for a bit.

until i am a little more settled in my head.

i have hardly written this year.

that pains me.

looking back always does.

but this is just it.

ihave a bed partner. a friend. a feminist. a book finisher. a cook. a collector.

he has become my life. although i am aware of the kind of response i may receive in response to such a statement,

it. is. okay.

now what i deal with on a daily basis are questions of time, trust, space, response, observation, ability, compatibility, judgement, and peace.

lists kristina. always with the lists.

indeed.